.. life

food for thought of life .. 45 lessons

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good
> 2. When in doubt, just take the next small step ..
> 3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone
> 4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and
> parents will. Stay in touch
> 5. Pay off your credit cards every month
> 6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree
> 7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone
> 8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it
> 9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck
> 10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile
> 11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present
> 12. It's OK to let your children see you cry
> 13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey
> is all about
> 14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it
> 15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God
> never blinks ..
> 16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind
> 17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful
> 18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger
> 19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is
> up to you and no one else
> 20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for
> an answer
> 21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't
> save it for a special occasion. Today is special
> 22. Over prepare, then go with the flow
> 23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple
> 24. The most important sex organ is the brain
> 25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you
> 26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ''In five years, will
> this matter?".
> 27. Always choose life
> 28. Forgive everyone everything
> 29. What other people think of you is none of your business
> 30. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time
> 31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change
> 32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does
> 33. Believe in miracles
> 34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did
> or didn't do
> 35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now
> 36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young
> 37. Your children get only one childhood
> 38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved
> 39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere
> 40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd
> grab ours back
> 41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need
> 42. The best is yet to come ..
> 43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up
> 44. Yield
> 45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift

ayah .. wiraku

ayah .. wiraku, a phrase clearly said and mean; every 3rd sunday in the month of june is the father's day and hani is taking the opportunity to wish all fathers especially my father, cekgu lloh in pasir mas and my hubby, z @ hasan a "happy father's day dan didoakan agar senantiasa dalam lindunganNya" ..



ramai yang kata, hani is ayoh punya photostat, baik dari segi rupa, kulit dan perangai .. now, ayoh, a 78 cekgu pencen, spending most of his time kat masjid untuk solat, kelas tajwid and ngaji. lepas balik dari solat subuh, he'll be on the sofa depan tv untuk siaran berita and majlis ilmu, muqoddimah while having his teh tarek and roti bakar with mum, cek and cucu-cucu, sarah and aisyah. then, he'll drive to get his daily papers and nasi berlauk. he'll be spending most of his time in his library, kat bilik bawah since he loves reading especially buku2 agama and kitab2, till now he reads without pakai spec pun ..

last january, bila ayoh kena heart attack, kami anak2 had begged ayoh to give up all his posts and charity work; thus now ayoh will only drive to masjid and beli papers besides meeting his old friends. cekgu lloh was the chairman for few organizations and all this while, it had been a routine, at least 3 times a year he'll indirectly be visiting us in k'lumpur for annual meetings - koperasi angkasa, bank rakyat and persidangan umno; ayoh had given up politicking few years ago semasa politik tengah kecoh dan tak menentu

cek is one lucky lady cos she'd been 50 years married to cekgu lloh, tho tak berapa handsome, dark and medium built, he looks garang but terlalu baik hati, quiet and talk only when necessary; hence cek tak pernah ada lawan untuk dia perlu meninggi suara. ayoh nii seorang yang tegas dan berdisiplin, especially bila bab-bab solat and sekolah anak-anak. hani was brought up in a situation where ayoh will give all his monthly pay for cek to manage; till now, his ATM card untuk pencen pun cek yang pegang .. ayoh had given up smoking 15 years ago but recently, upon doing the x-ray, the black tar and nicotine is still very vivid ..

ayoh is a very determined guy, masa hani kecik dulu, used to see ayoh rented another house semata2 untuk study for his sijil rendah pelajaran and sijil pelajaran malaysia; those days, dapat jadi cekgu only ngan sijil darjah 6. ayoh had promised untuk menaikkan taraf hidup keluarga since he came from a poor family, the father passed away when he was 6 years old and being brought up by a single mum who then followed the new husband to stay in golok. ayoh was then adopted by arwah cekgu nik paa and family whom we really devote and appreciate ..

dari dulu sampai sekarang, cekgu lloh will always listen to anak-anak and menantu punya problems since he is a very good listener and he'll give advise accordingly; still a very wise guy, very pious and menjadi tempat rujukan orang kampung. he'd never forced us to follow his decision, tho deep inside him hani tahu that he wanted all his daughters to be like him, jadi cekgu. ayoh will always remind us to be the best in anything kita buat ..

currently, ayoh is relying on medicine for his hypertension and heart problem altho he really jaga his diet and rajin buat exercise. jasa2 mu tak dapat kami balas dan doa diiringi agar ayoh senantiasa dilindungi dan dirahmati. sampai bila2 pun, jati diri yang telah diterapkan kepada anak2 menjadikan cekgu lloh, ayah .. wiraku

kenangan .. semasa menengah (2)

tqsm, hani had received feedback and comments from friends who followed nukilan hani and had been requested to elaborate on the 5 years staying in sms kel di kenangan - semasa menengah. well, hani had stated that lots of compromise, patience/preserverence, giving/taking were developed ..

staying together in the hostel, from different hometown, culture and background, hani tend to mellow down a lot and learnt hard to accept one another. ada yang from family susah dan miskin and hailed from hulu or pulau yang hani belum pernah sampai till now, they were just relying on food kat dining hall and duit poket from biasiswa kecil persekutuan; parents and family tak pernah datang jenguk but alhamdulillah, they are now doing very good and helping the kampung folks. they were always on the lookouts for my parents visit and informed me ..

it had been a routine to us, spending most of our time in school, pagi to normal school hours, petang for afternoon prep and after dinner for night prep; being in co-ed boarding school and spending most of the time together, seen many couples and heard banyak love stories but not as bad as new breeds now laa .. back to cerita budak yang dah malukan hani sampai nangis tuu, till today dia belum kahwin lagi and now, is a somebody in the department; bila dah tua2 nii, hani still dapat comment from my boy friends saying that kat sekolah dulu, kita nii sombong and tak pandang the other boys langsung; coupled pun ngan anak cikgu but we'd gone our separate ways then ..

tak boleh bayangkan but we had survived .. before going to night prep, we all rendam packets of maggie mee dalam baldi ngan air paip, by the time habis prep ie: 10.30 pm, all in the dorm boleh habiskan mee yang dah kembang tuu. when we were in form one and masih menumpang kat smip, all of us had walked pegi balik dari hostel in kota bharu to pengkalan chepa to see our new school complex, wow, it's more than 2 x 30 km journey .. we had witnessed banyak kali our boys kena public canings during assembly, majority due to rokok and curi keluar; once there was a riot against the warden and few were expelled. now, we observed those who were expelled are excellent ..

for form 3 students, after completing the LCE and waiting for the school holidays, we were allowed to stay in the hostel and not attending the afternoon and night prep studies, with few fellow dormates, hani had learnt to play cards and dapat champion in gynrammy; now dah lupa camana nak main tuu .. at the age of 17 and after lights off, openly with few dormates, we all nii berangan and said loudly about our future husband and fifteen years later when we met, most of us got what we'd dreamt earlier, how's about that ..

majority of us were given rm30/month as the pocket money, those days, it's a big amount and normally hani will spent a small portion on the baju2 for me and adik2 but bigger portion for the story books, had been spending money on mills & boon love stories since dulu lagi; but now, most had been given away cos my chomel didnot share the same interest .. loved reading the books bila lights off and relying on the corridor light, nasib baik mata tak rosak teruk

who hani is today, is the product of experienced gathered, majoritinya during my secondary school days;

• air dicincang takkan putus
• di mana bumi dipijak, di situ langit dijunjung
• masuk kandang kambing mengembek, kandang kerbau menguak
• hidung tak mancung, pipi tersorong-sorong
• ular menyusur akar, takkan hilang bisanya
  

kenangan .. semasa menengah

alhamdulillah, glamour sekejap cos tak ramai yang selected to go to boarding school di zaman tuu; hani had received a lot of moral support and money dari atok, mok keda, ayoh long, ayok su and sedara mara; cek had bought banyak pieces of kain ela untuk ditempah baju kurung and arwah moksu had bawa hani ke golok untuk shopping baju-baju; dari dulu lagi used to receive banyak duit and gila shopping and till now, am a little bit spoilt ..

sek men sains kelantan was still under construction in pengkalan chepa and kami terpaksa menumpang di sek men ismail petra (smip), kompleks wakaf mek zainab for a year. tak pernah dibuat orang, hani's first week kat hostel ditemani oleh nenek kesayangan, mok keda yang tak sampai hati nak tinggalkan ku keseorangan; luckily masa tuu warden tak de laa strict sangat and arwah nenek ku pun makan kat dining hall cam students; till now ada lagi kengkawan yang masih menyakat ku .. life was not a bed of roses cos bekalan air tak mencukupi and everyday, before 6 am ngan sebuah baldi, in a group, we'll walked to tumpang mandi kat sekolah sebelah; we'd survived ..

since form one lagi, hani dah dapat nickname, yogee, given by fellow classmate, nako and sulong after a class debate; it started with 'yoga for health' and yogee is one who does yoga, not yogi the bear laa; sampai now lekat nama tuu and ada je yang gelarkan my daughter, aamal as yogee junior .. life in co-ed boarding school was not bad at all, well ada laa orang yang minat kat kita but kita minat kat orang lain and dia dah memalukan kita sampai menangis kat depan kelas during afternoon prep; he'd minta maaf openly semasa reunion hari tuu ..

5 years in sms kelantan, met bermacam jenis kawan dan rakan, so many incidents and events happened which had indirectly grew and mature hani; lots of compromise, patience/preserverance and give/take were developed. we girls very dengar cakap, were not as naughty as the boys, no keluar curi, no lompat pagar and no cigarretes; had learnt to do own laundry since there was no washing machine. staying in hostel, hani learnt to be a very disciplined and systematic girl and had won cadar terkemas and terbersih kat dorm ..

those days family yang ada kereta tak ramai and we were lucky to have one; we were allowed to go back home only during school holidays and every friday evening, cek ayoh and adik2 will come visiting siap ngan makanan yang banyak to my dormates; till now ada kengkawan ku yang so happy to meet my parents, alhamdulillah .. being the eldest, hani dah ditugaskan untuk shop baju2 raya buat adinda2 ku and bila dekat nak raya je, ayoh will fetch hani kat hostel and tolong dia pilih baju; guess adik2 ku dari kecik lagi dah smart la gitu ..

bila cuti sekolah je, arwah ayohsu will fetch hani balik ke rumahnya di rantau panjang and the very next day, arwah moksu will bawa hani gi shopping kat golok via perahu, those days tak de laa gun shots and bombing nii .. then, balik ke to'uban to teman arwah mok keda who'd been staying alone bila kami pindah ke pasir mas; ramai orang kampung yang masih mengenali hani. masa cuti, cek tak berapa bagi buat kerja rumah especially cooking since dia suruh rehat je, tuu yang tak berapa nak pandai ..

s.o. quarters hendak dirobohkan to give way to new school complex, our rumah kat kg dangar dalam pembinaan and buat sementara, we all sewa kat lorong hj ahmad, neighbour to doodlemum's grandparents, lagi dekat ngan pasar and railway station. hence cuti sekolah je, rumahku penuh ngan kengkawan and we'll parade happily kat pasir mas town; ada kala hani berlari balik cos ada je budak2 lelaki kejar nak mengorat ..

life was so good then, drugs abuse belum berleluasa, no mat rempit, no bohsia and bohjan, no ragut and pick pocketting; thus, we'll be going here and there tanpa rasa takut2 ..

kenangan .. semasa kecil

with global warming, jerebu yang teruk nii and especially after the school reunion, hani tiba-tiba terkenang sewaktu budak2 kecik dulu ..

hani nii anak sulung and was born di musim tengkujuh di kedai to'uban, sebuah kampung dalam jajahan pasir mas. ayoh, cekgu lloh, mum cek, a full time house wife and nenek belah ayoh, mok keda were happily staying together kat sebuah rumah kedai, we didn't sell anything but were neighbours to kedai2 kopi, kedai2 runcit, kedai2 gunting, walking distance to balai polis, stesen keretapi and sekolah; life was so easy, dapat je duit gi beli coklat .. never went to tadika, only tumpang sekolah ayoh as and when rasa nak pegi, he was guru besar sek to'uban then ..

in early '67, famili ku, except mok keda, telah mengambil keputusan untuk berhijrah ke pasir mas dari kg to'uban semata-mata untuk ku belajar di sekolah english medium; parents vision untuk ku menjadi seorang yang lebih berjaya kot .. being the eldest cucu in the family for both sides, hani telah diamanahkan untuk jadi role model to all; was not sure whether hani had complied ..

hani telah menetap di s.o. quarters dari umurku 7 tahun hingga 15 tahun; now nii dah jadi kompleks sek ibrahim 2 dan juga klinik kesihatan p'mas; nii merupakan taman perumahan utk kakitangan kerajaan; it's rumah kayu sebuah-sebuah (cam banglo) yang mempunyai 2 bilik tidur, 1 ruang tamu, 1 ruang makan, 3 steps down to the kitchen and 1 toilet; not bad for a small family masa tuu .. was brought up dalam suasana aman damai and hardly remember ayoh and cek meninggi suara; ingatkan rumah kita yang paling best rumahku syurgaku until at the age of 13, a friend came visiting and popped me this question "camana you all boleh duduk rumah kecik and hitam gitu"; till now hani tak ada jawapan ..

terlalu banyak memori kat sini, met so many friends yang sekufu, maklum laa sama2 anak government servants and most of the prominent and successful faces were from here. a plain, dark and small built girl, senantiasa berambut pendek cam tomboy gitu and beberapa kali bercinta monyet ngan kawan setaman; wondering macamana boys boleh get attracted to the very plain and naive me; and till now, ada lagi makcik2 especially cek's friends yang panggil ku menantu tak jadi ..

a very active, smart and intelligent girl during primary school, sultan ibrahim; was always among the top three in class and was a school prefect since std 3 lagi, representing school in debates and syarahan and so was netball. those days was so popular among the teachers cos ayoh was the pengerusi pibg sekolah. guess walking to school twice a day tuu dah jadi routine; pagi sekolah biasa and petang full of activities

since small hani suka mengaji quran and cam mak orang lain juga, cek telah hantar hani ngaji ngan arwah makcik zarah kat pondok. during school holidays, pagi2 lagi hani dah bersiap untuk gi ngaji; mula2 tuu pegi cop tempat dulu, then rush pegi beli nasi pagi (berlauk, dagang, kerabu, laksam) untuk adik2 yang masih kecil kat rumah; cek jarang cook breakfast cos nasi pagi is so cheap and delicious; kalau sempat hani makan dulu, then berlari balik ke tempat ngaji

normal school days, hani and few friends akan singgah dulu kat pondok utk book tempat, then balik rumah for lunch and bergegas to ngaji quran; tak boleh lambat-lambat cos petang nak ke sekolah lagi. those days tenaga membuak-buak and now, bila melalui kawasan tuu, hani been wondering macamana boleh managed; alhamdulillah, hani sempat khatam 2 kali before habis primary school ..

those days, we girls dream to go to tkc, seremban but with only 4A and 1B masa penilaian darjah lima, hani hanya dapat offer ke sekolah berasrama penuh yang masih dalam pembinaan, sek men sains kelantan, pengkalan chepa. we were the pioneer batch and till now, we are close knit clan ..

happy 21st

we had hosted a small birthday celebration to our only daughter, aamal farhain who turned 21 yesterday evening; the guests were hubby's sisters and family only, was so happy to see sarah and her 7 kids but mak and kak long couldnot make it due to demam, aamal had only invited her closest friend, luna. her fiance, najmi is not around .. hani had cooked nasi lemak, sambal bilis and bbqued chicken, meat, fish, sausage, potato, pear and pineapple




we'd ordered a 1.5kg marble cheese cake with a '21' on top but upon collecting, they'd designed a '12' and when we argued, lin had remarked "she does not look 21"; they'd to redo and sent to our pondok by 4 pm.


being in a family of kecoh and havoc, the makan2, cake cutting session and buka hadiah lasted till 7.00 pm. aamal had received silver sets of necklace and bracelet from mak ngah, mak ica and mak yot. kak ija abang eddie had given her a beautiful sling bag. tq all for the beautiful moments ..


to chomel - papa and mama doakan agar chomel graduate with flying colors and jadilah anak dan isteri yang solehah serta senantiasa bermahasabah diri; ingat lah ular yang menyusur akar takkan hilang bisanya ..

reunion ..

saturday, 6th june, 10 am in kolej 9 UM, lembah pantai k'lumpur, we met for the 3rd smskel reunion. aamal and aqeel had dropped hani before they left for curve to watch movie marathon - monster vs aliens and syurga cinta.



not many were there and after more than 32 years, most of us had changed in size, shape and color (yg dulu gelap dah jadi putih and vice versa). dr yati, azmah, kak nik and petti came all the way from kb whereas cekgu som hopped from kuantan. selma, ha, ros, dr w hasiah, miton, pah and hani were the only ladies from k'lumpur. hani had managed to mingle with goda, le k, yusof, me, miji, king, md shah, nako, bilal, dr loko, aziz musa, cekgu aziz noor, md shah, dz, zaki, azam and many many more. ada yang bawa spouse, ada yang bawa bini baru and masih ada yang bawa awek ..

after hours of merisik khabar, our ex head boy, prof dr azman, the head cardio from hukm was invited to give a talk on 'heart'. besides the makan2 and usik mengusik, banyak games were arranged and many prizes to be won. hani did not stay for dinner since hubby and aliff were home .. sehingga ketemu lagi